Do you feel strong, heart palpitating feelings for someone?
Is it love, infatuation, lust or a crush?
Are you confused as to whether you really love the person or have a simple crush?
Could it be simply a case of strong emotions running havoc in the system?
These questions plague many a heart.
To tell the difference between real love and strong emotions (sometimes called a crush) can be very confusing.
The greatest minds have discussed this point at length. They have come down on both side of the issue.
“Love and infatuation do have one thing in common — strong feelings of affection for the member of the opposite sex. Many of the symptoms overlap. The most passionate and blind infatuation may contain a potion of genuine love . And genuine love contain several symptoms of infatuation,” says love expert Nacy Van pelt.
She goes on to say that the difference between the two are found rather in degree rather than definition. You must examine all the evidence with the greatest caution.
But you may be still confused with the role feelings play in love. I know of couple who were shocked when they realize that they didn’t feel they the same passion after they get married. They thought that they had fallen out of love.
John Powel settles the confusion well in his book “The secret of staying in love.”
“It is obvious that feelings are related to love. The first attraction is usually experienced in terms of strong feelings.. As the tinsel of young love is burnished by time into more valuable gold of love, there will be times when emotional satisfaction will be absent. There will be times when negative feelings cloud the skies of our world… It will be fatal it identify love with feelings because of the fickleness of feelings. However, it will be equally lethal to a relationship, if there were no warm and loving feelings to support the intentions of love,” Powell says.
What therefore is love?
LOVE IS A POWERFUL DESIRE TO EMOTIONALLY, SPIRITUALLY AND PHYSICALLY SHARE YOURSELF (AND YOUR LIFE) WITH SOMEONE ALONG WITH A DEEP CONCERN FOR THE WELFARE OF OF THIS PERSON.
This drives us to enter into an arrangement where this concern and desire can be fostered, cultivated and consolidated. This is called a relationship.
How to tell if you are in love.
While there is no fool proof test, one of the best questionaire I have come across is one given by psychologist Robert Baron. This can help in identifying your degree of love for the other person.
Think of the person you believe that you are in love with. Insert his/her name in each of the statements below and then answer each by writing an appropriate number in the box provided. If you agree totally with the statement and feel that it is positively true then enter 9. If you completely disagree and feel that it is totally false then enter 1. If you think that it is more true than false then you enter a number greater than five etc. After answering all the statements, add the numbers you have. The highest score – intense love – 81; the lowest score – no love – 9. Scores 60-65 indicate that you are probably in love. Scores above 70 suggest that you deeply in love with this person.
Do I feel that I can confide in ______ about virtually any and everything.
I would do almost anything for ________
If I could never be with _______ I would feel miserable
If I were lonely my first thought would be to seek_______
One of my primary concern is _______’s welfare
I would forgive ________ for practically anything
I feel responsible for ________’s welfare
I would greatly enjoy being confided in by ____
It would be hard for me to get along without ___
Please understand that this score will change from time to time. Love is dynamic. It can increase or decrease. There are many things which affect the level of love we have from time to time. If you want love to grow it must be nurtured and cultivated.